How to attract someone's attention in a few simple steps

This how to guide was inspired by an incided that occured yesterday during volleyball class. I, being the amazing volleball player, hit the ball really hard, and it proceded to hit a guy right in the head, which is when this genius idea came to me, a guide about how to attract people's attention. You can be sure that all these steps will work, because they have been tested out by me.*

1. Throw a ball at their head, or any part of the body. 

The object thrown at the person does not even have to be a ball, it could be a pen, or a small alligator if you have one in handy. So what you do now that you have the object is... you throw at the person! See, this will cause them pain, and they 

will most likely look for the person that has caused them the pain, which will be you. When they turn around you can start apologizing and then, BAM you can talk to them, see how easy that is?

2. Throw food at them 

This step works, just like the first one, but it is a little bit messier. Take a piece of food, preferrably something that is messy and will stain their clothes, but not something that you will want to eat, like chocolate. Once you have found the food feel free (that's three F words in a row :P) to throw it a the person, but don't miss 'cause then t

hings get messy... Once your target was hit and you have stained their clothes, you can be sure that they will turn their attention to you.**

3. Now, if none of the above steps work for you, this one is a sure attention grabber! You will need to serenade the person whose attention you are trying to get. The worse you can sing the more attention you can get! And if you can hire a Mariachi band to play along with you, then you will surely be on your way to getting all that wanted attenti

on. Once you have the band all you need to do is start singing near the person whose attention you are trying to get, and be sure once they hear your amaing singing they will notice you.

4. Now, after all this, this person has finally noticed you, and you are probably wondering what to do? Just say hi, poke them with a stick and run away. (If they forget about you, or ignore you, repeat from step 1)

*Maybe, not all of them, but two of them have been tested.

** Warning: people tend to get very angry when other people thr

ow food at them, so make sure the person whose attention you are trying to get does not have anger managment problems.